The migraines I had suffered with since I was 14 became chronic when my children were babies. It was an incredibly hard thing to cope with, and the medical professionals did not know how to help beyond prescribing drug after drug that left me too drowsy to care for my children. At times the side effects left me feeling worse than the migraines did. So I sought help elsewhere. I have been on a health journey ever since, and I am grateful for it. I have learned so much about myself, and I feel stronger than I ever have. Each link here has been a step along the path, one naturally leading to the next, helping me to put one foot in front of the other and never lose hope. I share them to help others find hope too.
Yoga online
Juliana and Mark create beautiful content, from stunning locations around the world. I started practising online with them during Covid, when I had lost all confidence in my body after four pregnancies, two surgeries and two natural births.
I felt weak, but practising yoga and meditating with Juliana, with her calming, encouraging voice in my ears, steadily helped me to regain my strength, and with it my confidence in my body once again.
Podcast
Dr Rangan Chatterjee's podcast has been a comforting voice in my ear throughout my healing journey. Being a UK medical doctor, Rangan helped to validate my experience. A lot of the podcast guests have covered themes I have learned about in yoga, in meditation and in the mind-body work, but because he is a well-respected doctor it somehow made me feel that these practices I had brought into my life were valid and not so alternative.
I like his authenticity, his questioning style, and the fact that he leads as a role model by practising what he preaches.
Course
I did an eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course just after Covid, when my migraines had become chronic. Our teacher pointed us to Dave Potter's free Palouse Mindfulness meditations, and by the end of the eight weeks I had a reprieve from my daily migraine symptoms.
His Turning towards physical pain meditation didn't make the pain go away, but I could acknowledge my fear and then reduce it in those moments.
Palouse Mindfulness (opens in a new tab)Dave Potter on Insight Timer (opens in a new tab)
Breathwork and cold water
I love this man! He has always inspired me, and I have enjoyed using his breathwork videos on YouTube. I found his story heartwarming, and he inspired me to take on cold showers, as well as cold water swims.
It never helped the migraines in the way I hoped it would, and sometimes maybe even worsened them, but it always made me feel better. After a time in Asia, I returned to cold showers and noticed the benefit of starting my day this way.
Course
This was a 12-week programme run by Curable, in an online group format, for people suffering with chronic pain. It was run by a coordinator, and one week we had the opportunity to ask questions of a mind-body doctor (Dr Stracks).
We were given a weekly workbook and video to work through, prompting us to reflect on our lives and answer the questions. It provided education on the process of pain and how it becomes chronic, and on neuroplasticity: the fact that we can re-wire it through different methods, such as re-challenge. We also looked at certain behavioural patterns that can reinforce chronic pain, and ways to adapt our lifestyles to challenge these patterns.
It was extremely useful, and helped kickstart a new way of looking at the migraines as something that could be cured, not a lifelong disease as the doctors had described it. The best thing this course gave me was community. It was the first time I had met other chronic pain sufferers, and hearing their experiences made me feel less alone. I am still in touch with half the group, who meet monthly over Zoom to check in.
Book
I first listened to Gabor on Dr Chatterjee's podcast, and something about the way he spoke helped me. I listened to several of these podcasts while we were at home in Dorset, and they helped to reinforce the idea from the Curable work that the migraines were a physical manifestation of a system that was struggling.
I fit his stereotype of a woman most likely to present with chronic illness, and it hit home that I needed to keep working on the mind-body techniques, otherwise I would continue to get worse. I later read his book When the Body Says No, which was so helpful. It was easy to see myself in the patients he wrote about.
Mind-body doctor
He is the most compassionate doctor I have ever met, and speaking to him through some consultations gave me the reassurance I needed. His YouTube channel, with lots of patients' stories, gave me "hope for healing" at the start of my journey, when the migraines were daily and I had a newborn baby and a three-year-old to look after during a Covid lockdown.
Hearing these stories gave me the resolve to put the effort into practising the techniques, with the hope they would help.
Hope for Healing on YouTube (opens in a new tab)Cormendi Health (opens in a new tab)
Natural movement
His conversation on Dr Chatterjee's podcast struck a chord with me too; it felt like the element my life had been missing. Through listening to him, we got rid of a lot of our furniture and started floor sitting, which we all enjoyed as a family.
We all started wearing barefoot shoes years ago and would never go back. The kids can climb and run noticeably better in shoes that bend with their natural movement, and we have had far fewer accidents than we had when they wore "normal" shoes. Natural movement has always felt intuitive to me, and I liked how this podcast named it. It probably had something to do with us moving towards a more natural lifestyle and heading off in the van.
Books
I recognised so much of myself in these books. They helped to show me why my environment was so critical, and that clutter and large spaces add to my overwhelm. It was during the time we were doing all of the work on the house, and clutter and mess were everywhere.
I learned some techniques for managing my energy better and for not getting so overwhelmed.
These books also let me look at my children in a new light, and I realised that the classroom set-up was what my daughter was struggling with. She was overwhelmed by the noise, the clutter and the large class size jostling for attention, and it was not the best environment for her to learn in.
Elaine Aron (opens in a new tab)Judith Orloff (opens in a new tab)
Podcast
I found it through Jonathan Fields' interview with Elaine Aron, and haven't been able to stop listening since. His well-thought-out guest list appeals to me; it often differs from the circuit of the other health podcasts.
He is a compassionate host who talks about his days teaching yoga and suffering with migraines, so his content has always felt very aligned with me. Listening gives me a snippet of learning, or an idea to take away and bring into my own life.
Book
This book taught me that self-care isn't selfish. I had to put my own oxygen mask on before helping others, and looking after myself helped me to show up as a better parent to my children. I learned the importance of acknowledging to myself when things were difficult, and of sitting with those feelings rather than pushing them away and numbing them.
Kristin Neff's words, and her meditations on Insight Timer, helped me to use meditation as a way of holding and accepting my feelings, so that I could be kind to myself in the hardest moments.
Kristin Neff (opens in a new tab)Kristin Neff on Insight Timer (opens in a new tab)
Book
I revisited the mind-body techniques after struggling during our time in Penang. This book helped me to revisit the ideas from the Curable course and bring some new methods into my daily practice. I had more success in the months that followed, gaining control of the daily migraines that had once again plagued me for a few months.
A short letter from wherever we have landed: what we've been learning, what helped, and what I'm still working out.
If you would enjoy receiving a letter from me, I would love you to join me.
